I Still Hear

I Still Hear your voice. I still see you (especially in the mirror!). But, most of all, I still miss you.

I opened an email this morning from an artist friend. She had written a beautiful tribute to her mother about the greatest gift her mother gave her. At the end of the tribute, she posed the question-Did your Mother share a gift with you that you’ll never forget?

I’ve thought about this question for most of the morning. My Mom was an example of giving. She loved, loved to give. When she said, “I’d rather give than to receive” she meant it one hundred percent. She didn’t always have the means, but the gifts she gave were truly from her heart. And, she always thought of the person and what they might like to receive. She took gifts to her doctors, her hair stylist, her neighbors, her postal carrier. She was just a giving person and truly didn’t expect anything in return.

If I have to name ONE gift that means the most to me, besides the many examples of selflessness, wisdom, strength, perseverance, kindness, I can go on and on…(I can’t name just one) But, the gift that I’ll never forget, an unexpected posthumous, are her journals. My mom gave me an envelope year(s) before she left for heaven. She told me when it was the right time, everything I needed to know was in the envelope. I filed it unopened.  In that envelope were her legal papers and her journals. It took a great length of time before I could sit and read her journals. With many pauses and tissues I finished them with a different appreciation for my Mom. It was hard but it was insightful and in some ways healing. She wrote from her heart. Her last years were difficult for many reasons mostly losing her independence which she valued so dearly. But, she expressed her fears, her loneliness, her loves, even her disappointments. She was a loving, giving lady of strength, determination, and “true grit” but she also had vulnerabilities she rarely displayed…like most moms! I would not have changed a thing about her.  

One of the key takeaway from her journals…

Make time.

Call often.

Visit.

Take time out for a meal.

Make the time, you will make your loved ones time, a lot less lonely and it will be in the things you treasure one day.

I wish she were here, for me to make more time.

She’s dancing her way through Heaven!!

I love you, Mom…you were the best!

Oh, the best gift my artist friends mom gave her…a box of 72 Crayons…and how far those colors have taken her!

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